Updated: Apr 1
Ciao tutti. I hope you are all hanging in as best you can during this trying time. Life is unfolding in ways we never expected and things are rapidly shifting. The events occurring collectively are affecting us all to some degree. It’s completely out of our control and our only way of survival is by adapting. Things are always changing and evolving. If we want to grow we have to flow. We may have lost certain freedoms in this time of crisis, but we haven’t lost our freedom to think. We haven’t lost our imagination or creativity. Many have been put on lockdown while others are self-isolating. Whatever you are doing, you are home. In your space. With the people you love. You now have the time and opportunity to do all those things you’ve been wanting to do. This is a time of introspection where we discover what is most important to us and how we want to live our lives moving forward.
We are facing a wave of mass destruction. The universe pulled the tower card followed by the death card. Spiritually this is a time of clearing, cleansing, and rebirth. As spring is upon us, the energies are symbolic of the seasons. Things are not easy right now. We don’t know how or for how long this will affect us or its long term implications. What we do know is that things will never be the same. We are entering a new world. A new way of living. Through this process, we will see things for what they are. We’ll see the true nature of people and ourselves. Survival is a key instinct we’ve inherited. It’s the reason we are here, right now. The lifetimes of our ancestors faced unexpected hardships. Those who adapted survived.
We have the opportunity now to find a new way. We have the power to change our mindset. To change our perspective, our ideas, our desires. I’m not saying it is going to be easy, but I will say that practice helps. Cultivating a practice with anything will improve your performance in whatever it is you are doing. I’m not going to lie and tell you I’m an expert. I have my own struggles that I face every single day. Keeping a practice is one of them. Am I happy? Yes and no. I was diagnosed with depression and reluctantly went on antidepressants back in January. They are actually helping my neurosis. I self-medicate with marijuana and that helps even more. I’m not perfect. I’m not any better than anyone else. I’m finding myself and my way through life as the unfolding of everything around me continues to blow my mind.
I wanted to share a meditation that I do most mornings. It helps ground me and connects me to myself and the energies available to me. I started doing this meditation almost two years ago. It’s evolved and changed over the years. Each day I recite it a little bit differently depending on what’s happening in my life. With consistent practice, I have witnessed the changes that have manifested from my words. By connecting with myself, setting intentions and living by my values, I have been able to shift my life into something I’ve never expected. We must trust that while everything unfolds in the most bizarre ways, and in their own time, it will bring us to where we need to be, not where we want to be. After the dust settles, it’s a beautiful sight.
Soon after starting this practice, a catalyst came into my life to show me there was another way of living. I broke off my engagement and relationship of seven years. The next day I moved out, found a new place to live (for free) and got a new job with the highest salary I’ve ever received. Yes, all of this happened on the same day. Five months later I realized I hated my new job. I put in my notice and more abundance began to flow in. I took a part-time office assistant job and also worked as a nanny. In time I transitioned to a full-time nanny, working for three different families. Office life is not for me and I love working with kids. Most of all I love what they can teach me. They are little mirrors showing me things I need to address in my life. They teach me patience, compassion, and how to live freely. I love their imagination and fearlessness.
Back in September under the dense fog of my depression, I had the idea to move to Italy and live with my family for three months. I booked my trip for the spring through early summer. Those three months I planned to connect with family, eat, write, explore, and heal. I wanted to heal and needed to heal. I couldn’t go on living the way I was, yet I couldn’t stop myself from self-destructing. I was basically running away from all my problems here at home.
Due to the coronavirus, my trip to Italy was canceled. Instead of staying with my jobs, I decided to take the three months off to heal. I then planned to stay with my boyfriend during the majority of my time off, working on my writing and healing while he was at work during the day. The following week we broke up. It’s funny how things change. How the universe sets you on a different course. Spirit was telling me to sit with myself and figure my shit out. I can’t run away from my problems and come back and be a brand new person adapting to an old environment. I needed to face these issues head-on and adjust my environment here so that I can thrive.
What is my current environment? Well, back in December I was forced to move out of my studio due to mold. My mom let me move in with her until I left for Italy. So now, as we all enter the coronavirus lockdown I am home with my mother. We share the space which is a small studio. We share meals. We even share the same bed. To be honest, this is exactly where I want to be. It’s what feels most comfortable at this time. Growing up, Mom was a single parent and worked all the time to support my brother and me. On rare occasions, she would be home when I got home from school and I always loved feeling her presence. Moms are a safe place and what we want most when we are sad or not feeling well. Although my mom doesn’t support my pot-smoking habits, she’s taken me under her wing again and I will always remember this special time I got to share with her.
Below you will find the meditation. Feel free to use it as a guide and make it your own. You can do this meditation sitting, standing, lying down or walking. Recite it out loud or silently in your head. Do whatever feels good for you.
My root chakra spins a beautiful red color as it’s cleansed and activated.
I am safe. I am protected. I am secure.
I am rooted down into Mother Earth, allowing her to fully support me.
All of my basic needs are met with that of abundance.
There is enough for me and everyone on this planet to live a life of richness and abundance.
My sacral chakra spins a beautiful orange color as it’s cleansed and activated.
It is safe for me to express myself however that looks.
I honor and express my sexuality however that looks.
I co-create the life of my desires.
I give life to myself by aligning with my higher self.
I am planted in a bed of fertile soil.
I am rooted in my power.
I am free to flourish.
My solar plexus spins a beautiful yellow color as it’s cleansed and activated.
I am confident in my abilities, in my appearance, and especially in my surroundings.
I am confident in the choices I make, knowing they are for my highest good.
I have the will to carry me through trying times.
My heart chakra spins a beautiful green color with pink swirls as it’s cleansed and activated.
I open my heart to love.
I open my heart to trust.
Everything I do comes from a place of love, therefore everything I receive comes from a place of love.
I am a being of love and light.
My throat chakra spins a beautiful blue color as it’s cleansed and activated.
I speak with clarity and discernment.
I can easily articulate my thoughts, emotions, desires, and needs into clear, calm, and peaceful words.
I use my voice as a tool to express myself.
I speak my truth.
My third eye chakra spins a beautiful indigo color as it’s cleansed and activated.
I am open to the messages from my angels, guides, and higher self.
I am open to deepening my psychic awareness.
I honor my intuition and trust in the guidance I receive.
My crown chakra spins a beautiful violet color as it’s cleansed and activated.
I am, that I am, that I am, that I am.
We are what we are.
We are all connected to the same loving light that shines upon us.
I send my intentions out the crown of my head, aligning them with the highest light.
They are charged with the energies and sent out into the universe where they will be magnetized and pieced together, bringing form in the physical plane.
I send this light from source back down through my crown as it fills space within my body.
I am aligned with love and light.
I have no idea what today will bring, but I am open to the abundance the universe has in store for me.
I am open to connecting with the unseen energies.
I am open to feeling.
I am open to being.
How can life get better than this?
What else is possible?
What do I need to learn?
How can I improve?