When To Say No

How many times have you agreed to something but the voice inside is screaming NOOOOO! You dread whatever it is you said yes to and reluctantly attended feeling pissed off at yourself the entire time. This scenario has played over in my life many times. I’m a hermit by nature but always want to please and never disappoint. My mom’s advice has always been, “If you say no to something it’s over in a quick moment. No matter how uncomfortable it feels, you will only feel it once when saying no. By agreeing to something you don't want to do, you suffer. You suffer the moment you say yes, leading up to, and following. Better to say no and be happy than saying yes and feeling unhappy.” I’ve failed to take her advice for years. By doing so, I haven’t honored my inner voice and put myself second. I’ve let the things or projects that I’ve wanted to do fall to the side and I’ve created unnecessary stress and anxiety. Why do so many of us do this? We want to be the best for others, of course. We want to please and make friends/family/partners feel good. But if we don’t truly feel good how can we share our light with others? The more burnt out we become the dimmer our light emanates. I've realized now more than ever I need to stop appeasing others and do what’s best for me. I need to honor myself and by doing so I need to put myself first. I need to say no when I mean no and not feel guilty about taking that time for myself. As much as I used to think it selfish, it is far from that. We need to constantly check in with ourselves and be guided by our intuition. Especially for women who are nearing their monthly visitor, it's imperative for us to listen to our bodies. It’s human nature that at this time in our cycle we crave solitude. That’s where I am currently and my being has been craving that aloneness. This afternoon I said no to an invitation and I’m so glad I did. I felt bad for a moment when saying no but the rest of my afternoon and evening has been exactly what I needed. How many times have you said yes when you really meant no? I urge you to connect with yourself and honor your needs whatever they may be.